Wydale and Why Not

 

Filey daughter is holding the fort at home. She is letting spouse have fish and chips from the Brown Room today, she will encourage him to take a walk out to the chemist and back , and will accompany him. His walker frame is a Godsend literally, and we often think of all our relations in past years who would have loved one, but had to use old pushchairs and Sholleys to give them support and security or never went out at all. Leaving home for a  short walk to the shops or to look at the sea from the end of the road  is acknowledged to be good for not only mental health but a positive step to delay Dementia , along with Wordle and Sudoku.

For carers, the facility to have 2 nights away from home , with all meals provided , no chores, and lovely weather despite the BBC's forecasts is essential to maintain their well being  and the mindset to carry on , to be thankful for small things , and to recharge the brain from the stupor of tedium and repetition.  I only need a couple of nights occasionally in a stimulating but yet restful place.

What I love about Wydale  is that it is only a 13 mile  journey from home ,is in an idyllic rural setting reflecting gracious living of Edwardian gentry, so ticks all the boxes , rare trees,  beautiful vistas , short walks  , spacious public rooms, and really great food.  

I walked as far as the Sweet Chestnut tree today. I knew it was the right tree as the leaves had remained where they had dropped. It was a good walking day , a thick frost , bright sunshine , slight breeze. 

The view in winter shows the hall in the distance,no new

From Everlasting to Everlasting

I'm listening to the Dream of Gerontius. It is the perfect mix of melancholy and hope . I'm feeling maudlin with due reason , as my Aged Parent died a good death last night. For the 9 years of this Blog I've often written about my trips to Beverley to visit her , take her to Communion, to Tesco's , to the Hospital , to the bank , and then just to see her. 

This perfect little town, a hours drive across the Wolds from here, has been a welcome and interesting stimulus for putting thoughts to e-paper. I drive  from Filey,through Hunmanby ,Burton Fleming, Kilham, Driffield and Leconfield. I was going to say I know every hedge and pond, but it would be better to say I know every place where the speed cameras catch One. I know that most of the way I have to drive quite slowly as the potholes at the edges of these country roads are lethal, I've already had to have the Volvos suspension( if thats the word) seen to. It could be that I went over the bumps on the allotment road too quickly, but I blame the stretch of road between Kilham and Rudston. On my return journeys from mother when I drove past the site of the Roman Villa on the Kilham to Rudston Road, always stopped and admired the view.  From Driff to Beverley it is the Leconfield road that catches the most speed merchants. I did get some points on my licence once  for going 37 miles an hour. I thought that a bit mean , but it did make me cautious from then on . The 50 mile an hour speed limit from Hutton to Beswick seems so slow. Often I opt to go by train to Beverley. If I went  to Hull to visit my sister and Primark  I always disembarked on the return journey and visited Mother  , had a coffee in CaffeNero , a walk round M and S and then back on the train . Beverley had everything for a daughter visiting a Mother in a Care Home, and was responsible for 2 years of good visits . The ambiance and History of the town always delighted me . (Note to self -keep going back , get to know the town in a new context!)

Whilst Beverley town  has been my balm in difficult days, my allotment remains as my constant and necessary balm for everydays and alldays.

Dave's Everlasting Flower bed

Many times I go from home to water the greenhouse in hot weather, to pick berries in the mellow months, to weed in the verdant ,weed frenzied months and to generally just look around and sit alone all the months . Its my place of SPACE, my retreat , and the place where I tell the time by the passing of the trains from Beverley every 2 hours, realise Ive been gone 2 hours and hurry home hoping Herons is still open .They are used to me with a basket trailing soil and full of assorted flowers and veg which I have to move on to  the counter whilst I find my purse.
My neighbour has been growing Everlasting Flowers,  now called Xerochrysum bracteatum  since they were got at by the taxonomic botanists in 1990 . I still call them Helichrysums , but then I still call the Mint Family, Labiatae instead of Lamiacea. I know what I mean.

My Clary Bed

I sit on my white plastic chair outside the greenhouse  and look out across my plot , Dave's Plot, Bernard's plot and Eddie's plot . I know it looks colourful at the moment as my sister went passed on the train and then told me so. My Clary and David's Everlasting flowers, Bernard's Michaelmas Daisies (just in bud), all our Sunflowers, and most importantly our free seeded Nasturtiums which David and I like, and Brian two plots away hates with a Vengeance.
Its been a good year for the Everlasting Flowers. I remember when Flower Arrangers like me would spend hours wiring them all, for the Dried Flower Arrangements I so loved in the 80s, but now  hate  . I hate them even more since visiting Aged Parent in Care Home . Everywhere one went they would be lurking , the shelf in the Visitors Cloakroom, the side tables in the sitting rooms , and in Mother's room when she first arrived . I caused that particular vase to have an accident .
Now I LOVE the way my allotment neighbour has dealt with them . Having grown them so that without blemish the large flower heads , just open enough to show their symmetry and beauty they are then picked and the heads thoroughly dried .They can make the summer last till the next time summer comes . And last they will in the way that Casa David and Jen are using them . They put them in a Goldfish bowl.

I am growing Kale for the first time ever. My Aged Parent grew it in row after row in Sutton on Hull in our large garden . I used to dread her saying just go and cut some Kale for dinner please Margaret Mary. I did not appreciate the way it was cooked. It would be boiled to death in lots of cold water brought up to the boil , and then a plate would be pressed on it to get the water out. Spouse remembers his mother cooking and straining the water off cabbage in just the same way . Thankfully nowadays we realise that the young Kale leaves  may be quickly stir fried, and it is a cut and come again veg for summer through to next summer  , everlasting till everlasting . M and S it must be said do the most delicious Kale crisps which are deep fried in Cashew Butter, but at £2 a small 30 gm bag they are not going to have my money very often .

As David remembers the sunshine all through the winter , I am going to remember my beloved Mother everytime I pick some Curly Kale .

Written in the dust

I have just found Eva's name written in the dust on the back of a chair in the sitting room of our cottage, just like all the white vans with clean me. I am not humbled , I don't do housework unless I have to. 

So the downstairs bathroom is cleaned on the morning before Homegroup, the upstairs bathroom cleaned before my sister comes to stay, the kitchen floor rarely but thoroughly. Spouse is heard putting the Carpet sweeper round the downstairs carpet when I am drinking my first tea of the day in the bedroom above, so I know its done. 

I do the Old Furniture with Liquid Gold a couple of times a year, but only to stop it from cracking with the heating from the Central heating. I actually wonder how people actually find time to clean, and have another life. 

When I worked for money I always had a 'treasure' , and thank God for the Joans and Anns who managed to make sense of my random housekeeping arrangements. This small cottage is perfect for any one of the seemingly hundreds of the retired of Filey. Its near the shops, near the Buses and Trains, near the Doctors and NHS Dentist, and the sea is seen from the front door. And still I who have everything have no time.

I am organised, I buy fresh food every day and cook from scratch . I know how to wash and never iron , and I batch cook Bolognese sauce, Soup and stews (in the slow cooker). I make wholemeal bread when we need it , and boilwash the whites every fortnight. 

Why am I always looking forward to a day with nothing on the calendar? Why cant I be content to be busy?

Lifestyle Check

1. Come off rotas at Church
2. Don't go to any Meetings unless subject matter really interesting (only 2 good talks in last 5 years, Liz Kitching on St HILD, and Prof Nicky Milner on Flixton Carr dig)
3. When people offer to help you, ie. buy flowers for Weddings at St Os instead of  me doing it, let them
4. Do shopping when shops quiet 
5. Read interesting novels and give up when you know its not grabbing you (I have just done this and am amazed at how often I plough on with a boring book)
6. Flag e mails. What a simple way to not lose important ones , why has it taken me so long to realise this.
7. See every essential task as sheer joy to be had , and never moan or be negative . Look for the adventure in them .
8. Thank God more often .

An adventure in being positive (when pissed off by something)

Spouse was so good yesterday, bringing me my Ist cup of tea in bed at 5.30am . I heard him put the Carpet Sweeper round, the front door being unlocked. He facilitated my departure for the 7am train to Beverley. 

Have you got your glasses, your keys, your mobile, your purse? Have you switched the tap off in the bathroom, Have you thought about what we are having for Dinner. Yes, Yes, No.

Although an Essential Task, visiting Aged Parent in Care Home twice a week is a pleasure because I have made visiting Beverley a pleasure too. At 8am in the morning my day here always starts with a look at the flowers in just opened M and S, followed by a Coffee and a toasted Panattone (no butter no jam) in Caffe Nero. Not only another tick on the blue card , but now I have the chance to sit in a leather seat in  the window and watch people going to work : always  pleasure that! 

I walk quickly to Mother across the allotments and by the field side path and hear the Minster Clock strike the quarter past Nine as I walk expectantly in to Lindum House with Alstroemerias armed with my GOOD IDEA. 

Pause here to explain . Today I am taking mother to Morrisons in her wheelchair on the  10 :40am  bus. She keeps saying she wants to go to Morrisons, we'll browse the biscuits and sweets, see the price of Harveys Bristol Cream, laugh at how we always came here for Tripe, buy something like useful Value Tissues, have a cup of tea, and walk back in time for her lunch at 12.45, which she always takes alone in her room, and never wants to miss. (Next plan will be a bowl of Chips in  Waitrose at lunchtime, when were in the car.)

PLAN IS THWARTED.

Mother is fast asleep, in bed, her day has not yet begun. I made noises off to myself, Did they realise I made  a 40 mile journey , left home at 6.45am, have meetings in the afternoon, have a meal to cook, am responding to Aged Ps wish to go to Morrissons? Pissed Off covers it. 

So I arranged her flowers, signed out and took a trip myself to Morrissons on the 9.40 bus.
My brain and good sense kicked in . Try the route, do a dry run. 

When one gets off the bus make sure you use the road  crossing with the angled down curbs.

The Shrubs next to the wheelchair footpath needs cutting back. 

The path down back to the road home passes a several very fruitful Horse Chestnut Trees.  

Inside Morrisons , Tuesday is a quiet day for a browsing Aged Parent.

The Disabled Loo is near the entrance and has plenty of space and very clean..(Also noted 5 wheelchairs for the public to use if we bring her in the car)

  The Wheelchair path is direct, but I wouldn't have found it without a rekky.

The Road to Lindum is blocked to traffic at the west as a new By pass is being built into Beverley from Hull ,BUT until yesterday I did not realise that it was open to pedestrians and wheelchairs.

By the side of the path I saw and recognized my first Spindle Tree, and enjoyed all the early autumn berries. 

When I got back to Lindum at 10.30 , Mother was up and dressed and breakfasted. No she didnt want to go to Morrisons, infact she couldn't remember having ever been there. But we went out in the garden and sat and watched the young gardener dead heading and tidying . Mother said the grass needed cutting , and how lovely the fresh air was. We had a good laugh when she asked if I lived with Margaret Mary , and I said I am Margaret Mary. 

I realised that since February I have been busy doing my Plant Recognition Course with BSBI and doing my allotment, and visiting M twice a week . No wonder Ive had no time to do the housework, or thats my story .