Monday, January 27, 2014

A quiet Lull for the Graeae

 Zak is spending the day with us. He has a temperature and feels sick. I have set up a space for him, a bowl, some pencil and  paper games, and have covered the furniture. He is very happy as he is snuggled with the hudl too. We are rationing his time on Minecraft. Here I offer all a sample. My small boys build their own animations on this miracle of online lego with action and gamelike procedures. They have been building it using their programming app Raspberry Pi.

Here I appeal to all the unitiated to LEARN THE WORDS Raspberry pi. Small children all over the UK are using it to learn computer programming. We sure have come a long way from Floor Turtles and LOGO. I have one . Its the most basic of computers where you programme it yourself to do what you want. Mine is set up to run  BBC iplayer and ITVplayer. It looks like a small box with lights and doing stuff. Just know the words! Thats all I do. MY grandchildren have already told me that all I know about computers I have got from their Dad. Cheeky boys indeed!
I'm so glad its pouring with rain here, as we can't go out anyway as we look after Zak. Colin has just played Scrabble with him. I'm supposed to be doing e mails about my aged Mother to Healthcare Professionals, Social Services  and her hairdresser. However the quiet LULL of having Zak is a godsend. 

I am becoming BORING as much of my thinking life seems to be taken up with thoughts of AGED PARENT. My sisters both say the same. In some ways it would be easy if there was just one of us, like all the months I did for Aunty Jean in 2102. I of course, have splendid and long suffering but not showing it husband ,to help and support me, to talk things over with . We three sisters have to share together. Sometimes I feel we are like the Graeae with one eye between us. Our phones are hot, our minds on autopilot, and our brains feel on stop. We all have different priorities for our AGED ONE. WE all live in not the rhubarb triangle but the Mother One, Cheshire, Sutton and Filey. WE are as different from each others as sisters can be. 

So this is a welcome brief lull . Its sandwiched amongst the most difficult months of my life as a daughter.

WE had to talk to Mother on Friday about how she couldn't go home. We had to talk to mother about could she remain in the Beverley Care/nursing Home. We had to talk to each other about the redispersing our mothers possessions. It all went well ! DG. We had to talk to each other about finances, podiatrics, diabetes, commodes and deed boxes. We have found all the short stories our father wrote in the 50s  never finding a publisher . We have found pictures of our mother in her WAF uniform, an cards sent to her on her 90th birthday.
Our mother is not dead, so we need to ask her all the right questions now, and make sure we carry out her wishes as much as we are able to. Yesterday was the first time in 2 months she asked for her handbag. What progress! Do we keep the Church Times coming to her, do we buy her lots more clothes now that she has lost so much weight? 

The upside of all this is that there are many people working in Care Homes and Nursing homes who are truly good at it, devoted, kind and professional in all they do. I didnt really know this so well. Aunty  Jean was bedridden the whole time and made no effort to co-operate with anyone , and was cared for well for the few weeks in Whitgift House. We sit outside Mothers bright room and as the door is shut know that she is being attended to . The Carers do not know we are outside waiting. We hear the gentle and loving way she is spoken to , we are grateful . We will tell them , having passed the eye between us, we have all seen the same thing .


  1. Beautifully summed up .

  2. A difficult time for you Margaret, but the three of you must be so glad to have each other to bounce ideas off.
    It's good too that your long-suffering spouse does that with a good grace.
    We hear about the bad care-homes so that those of us lucky enough not to have personal experience tend to think they are all alike. So it is a nice change to hear about a good one.
    I'm afraid the computer speak is Sanskrit to me.