I am perfectly OK Thanks. My middle of the night rant was only that-A Middle Of The Night Rant. When Insomnia breaks in on the night, creep on with the night or surprises the night your mother has strategies in place to overcome and defeat the nuisance.
Sometimes , as you may find for yourselves, thoughts running around ones head, in the small hours, may be seen with the dawn to be both a dawn of realisation ,and then a full sunny day of confirmation follows. In the middle of the night everything may seem doom laden and ones thoughts may be irrational. I have no idea why this is. When a very dear friend of mine was depressed, getting out of bed was the hardest task . But when , and as she followed simple routine tasks she began to 'feel' more able to cope. By lunchtime she was able to face the day.
I appreciate your need to see if I was OK. I am thrilled that you are reading my weblog. I will try to remember too that you have no idea of what I am speaking when I mention the Anglican Church. I will condense my thoughts here for you.
Your father and I go to an Anglican Church in Filey. We are not always happy with the way it functions as a Body but do not want to drive 10 miles away to worship at Christ Church Bridlington or even 3 miles to All Saints Hunmanby. We feel that we should go to our local Anglican Church. Dad and I would go to any other church in Filey where we felt comfortable and are not hidebound even by Denominations. To us a church is a place to keep out the rain, with somewhere to sit down, so that we may get together with others who want to worship.
My rant , and what had been keeping me awake , was the state of the Anglican Church as corporate and global organization. Things are going on at the moment which are not only very upsetting and confusing but also nothing at all to do with God. We belong , children ,to what is known as a broad Church. This in my mind has always been a STRENGTH.
St James, Sutton in Holderness, Ripon Cathedral, St Michaels Southfields (where we worshipped with William Fittall, who is now top man organizing the Anglican Parliament -called General Synod ), St Martins Dorking were all places where I have worshipped for seasons in my life. They were as different as Primark is from Peter Jones, and yet I remember only my growth as a person on my Life Journey, and the fellow pilgrims who made me welcome, and/or helped me make sense of it.
Children, at the moment we need a REFORMATION in the Church of England, ie another mighty shake up. Nothing to do with Henry VIII, but more to do with Martin Luther. My spiritual Leaders just need to be thoroughly in love with God, to be soaked in the Bible, to be full of the Holy Spirit who will lead them in to all all truth, and to believe all that Jesus did. He believed in the devil- and never said anything about gays or women , but just lots about holiness and devotion , simplicity and the essential 'I am the way, the truth, and the Life'.
So , Children , I know you hate it when your mother goes on about God, but that is why I couldnt sleep. That and because in the middle of my insomnia I actually forgot to pray.